Tuesday, June 8, 2010
THE GATE WAY
Im a big one for saying it how it is, or don't say it at all. But... sometimes you need to think before you speak.
Here's a little tip that just might save you from hurting some one's feelings or worse, starting an argument.
Put your words through these 3 gates before you speak.
Is it KIND? Is it NECESSARY? Is it TRUE?
Is It KIND?
This gate can be tricky. Sometimes kindness is not always niceness. KINDNESS can mean these things: helpful ,agreeable, considerate and compassionate. I think the word that represents this gate is- helpful.
Are the words going to be helpful to the person hearing them?
There are times when helpful words are hard to hear.
Is it NECESSARY?
Necessity arises from an essential need.
Does this person NEED to hear what you have to say? Is it essential?
Is it TRUE?
Has the fact been verified? That is, not gossip or hear say
If the words don't pass the 3 gate questions, then bite your lip hard and HOLD IT!
If the answers to the 3 gate questions are dubious, take time to think about what you want to say before you decide to SAY IT! or HOLD IT!
If your words pass all 3 gate questions, then feel free to SAY IT!
You dont have to use the 3 gate method all the time, but it can be helpful in a tricky situation when you are unsure whether to speak or not.
Is it Kind? Is it Necessary? Is it True? No-HOLD IT! Maybe-THINK IT! Yes-SAY IT!